I developed an innate love of food from an early age. My father's side of the family was Italian and my mother's family is as Southern as they come. I was surrounded by a plethora of food-loving cultures. Pasta, sausage, lasagna, and bread on my father's side and fried chicken, pig roasts, and casseroles made from things I didn't even know could be made into casseroles on my mom's side.
|My grandma's pantry was like a trip to Toy 'R' Us for me...|
there was always something fun for me to get into.
|Just look at that guilty chocolate-covered face|
I still felt fat though...I remember running to the bathroom in between classes and looking in the mirror to make sure. When you lose a lot of weight that quickly, it takes a while for your brain to catch up to your body. It didn't really hit me until one day when I offered up a slice of pizza to one of my friends and she said "I can't eat that...we can't all eat whatever we want and be bone skinny Amanda!" I had arrived...I was finally one of those girls that people looked at and thought that I gave no thought to what I ate. Truth was, I couldn't even smell a cookie without gaining 5 lbs and I was actually counting every calorie in that oh-so-rare slice of pizza and thinking "it'll be a salad sans dressing for you tonight" lol.
|A newly skinny and blonde me|
|Senior Spring Break 2003|
The food plan is dangerous at big Universities. I could get whatever my heart desired any time it desired it and what my heart desired was gallons of sweet tea, pizza, ice cream, pasta, hamburgers, and french fries (and yes, sometimes it desired all of these things at once). These were things that I had deprived myself of my whole life and I released the kraken so to speak. Freshmen 15 turned into freshman 20, 25, 30... I stopped getting on the scale, which is the worst thing you can do once you reach your goal weight. Before I knew it I went from size 2, 115 pounds to a size 13, 190 pounds. Unlike insecure, reclusive chubby me in middle school, however, fat college me had blossomed into the funny outgoing fat girl. I would cut up and poke fun at my weight and act like I didn't care, but I did.
I started watching what I ate again, but after a couple months when I would get on the scale, realize I had "only" lost 10 lbs, do the math, become overwhelmed with the long road ahead, and quit. There was always a good reason to "start tomorrow." A birthday party, a girls night out, a holiday, anniversary, the need for a quick fix at McDonalds, whatever! After years of thinking "Man! If I had started 12 months ago I would be there now" :-( I couldn't take it anymore. I found myself online looking at fat camps, but the ones for adults were so unnecessarily extravagant (aka expensive). I didn't need a getaway, spa, health retreat with horseback riding...I needed a boot camp that doled out small rations of food for a good 6 months.
Then I found it! Lap Band. It was too expensive in the states, but in good ol' Mexico, you can have em slap a band on you for about $5,000. I called up the hospital and began asking questions and they presented me with another option called a gastric sleeve (also called total gastric vertical plication). Unlike a gastric bypass, the sleeve is far less invasive and there are far less possible complications and, unlike the Lap Band, the sleeve won't slip and your body won't reject it. After some research I thought it was the perfect solution (I know I'm going to get some flack for saying that as well). It was scary. I LOVED food. I loved to COOK IT. I loved to EAT IT. I loved to TALK ABOUT IT. What if my relationship with food changed? I was very attached to that relationship. I had been cultivating it for years! Then it hit me, an unhealthy relationship HAD to change. I would have a different relationship with food, but it would be a healthy one.
I still love food, I still talk about it all the time, read about it, cook it, eat it, but now I eat healthy food and channel my energy more toward the planning side of what I'm going to eat and when, than my prior impulse eating habits. I write down everything I eat! That is the key to keeping off the weight...consciousness, awareness.
But enough about me already. Let's talk about you and the things you can do in order to NOT do the things that I've done........